Hey, Awkward. Part 2

She’s all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I’m drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don’t know how,
How we got into this mad situation,
Only doing things out of frustration,
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can’t seem to find the time,
I’ve got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don’t know how,
How we got into this mess is this a gods test?
Someone help us cause we’re doing our best (best)
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

Sparks. Sparks that lasted for a few days. And then you told me that you had a problem. And because of that problem, I knew that everything was gonna go downhill. I knew that it couldn’t be. And at the same time I was hurt. “Don’t play with people’s feelings.” I distanced myself because I believed that that was the right thing to do. And you needed to sort things out. I should have and could have helped you as a friend, but since I was involved, I couldn’t. Clouded judgment equals bias.

But we’re gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven’t for a while
A while ya
We’re smiling but we’re close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we’re meeting for the first time

September. Feast. Awkward no more. Okay, maybe the first “Hello” was awkward. But then we started to talk to each other like the good old days…which was a few months ago. We talked like nothing happened. But we talked with ‘caution’; we didn’t involve the ‘sensitive’ topics.

Still waiting, like I told (promised) you.

Hey, Awkward

I hang out with my friends

We sit down on a bench

Lights dance around us

The band plays on stage

I didn’t think about you.

Tick tock said the clock

Noise…a commotion…

We stare at the entrance

We wait.

A girl appears…then another…

I realize what that meant

I wasn’t prepared.

Finally, someone spoke,

Greeted them,

“Hey, awkward, you’re here.”

You take your place on the stage.

I try to look away.

Try to engage in a deep conversation

Try not to notice your presence.

I try…I try…but I fail.

I steal a glance at you

Then my eyes travel elsewhere

I pretend to be blind

I stand up, go to the comfort room,

Remove my contact lens,

Wear my low grade glasses

Perhaps he’ll think that I didn’t look up

Because I wasn’t wearing glasses

Fool! Low grade glasses!

They made my vision even more blurry

Than wearing just one contact lens.

I return to my seat

Fool! Now I don’t know whether

Or not I should look at him;

Don’t know whether he’s looking

At me or not

I can’t see you clearly

I stare blankly at the stage

We stand up and prepare to leave

“Hey, Awkward, I gotta go.

Talk to you later?”

“Hey, Awkward, I missed you.”

Veteran

Veteran

  • someone who fought in a war as a soldier, sailor, etc.
  • someone who has a lot of experience in a particular activity, job, etc.

(Definition from: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/veteran)

Veteran (Medical Laboratory Science Student)

  • A student who is extending/has extended his/her stay in the supposed four and a half year course.
  • A student whose year in school is known as 3.5 or 3.75.
  • A student whose name and face is very familiar to his/her instructors.
  • A student who, due to overstaying, continuously gains more experience than regular students.
  • A student who understands that ‘generation gap’ does not exactly mean a large age gap. It could be less than a year.
  • A minority group.
  • A DL: Delayed Lister

I’m a veteran. 3.5 this semester, 3.75 next semester. Believe me, regular juniors started using the term veteran this school year. It’s quite annoying because it sounds derogatory and sarcastic when they say it. Por ehemplo, “Veteran ka kasi.” “Ang taas ng mga score niyo, mga veteran kasi.” “Oh, eh di kayo na matalino, veterans.

We’re supposed to feel good because they just complimented our ‘status’. But the tone of their voice is just off, and you can tell that our presence is like a threat to them. Understand this, when you’re a veteran, especially those sure interns-to-be, you can’t afford to fail a subject. If you do, you’ll be extending for another year, or another semester if the subject will be offered during the summer term.

Maybe I should add “Students who regulate the population of juniors and incoming interns” to the definition. They complain that they get low scores because of us. Of course it’s not fair. They don’t study/review.

Generation gap? Please! If we’re lazy, they are lazier. Guess what, they even dictate what they want and don’t want. They can be really ‘abusive’ when it comes to new instructors. When you’re a veteran, you’ve learned a lot about respect during the first time you were a junior, or when you experienced your first majors. Regulars are so lucky that their instructors are so kind, that us veterans are jealous about that fact. But we’re also grateful for our strict instructors who have taught us about the true value of respect.

Maybe this is just a phase for the regulars, or the newbie juniors. (Oh yeah, I thought of a new term to refer to them). We went through that, too. But we gotta brag about being more disciplined than them when we were newbie juniors. Let’s not worry tho. They’ll learn our ways. They’ll learn a lot about respect.

Doppelganger

“She looks like you. She looks a lot like you. She moves like you,  smiles like you, and talks like you.”

I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t even take my eyes off of the computer’s screen. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.

It can’t be. I was still in shock, in denial. No…it just can’t…

I wanted to grab the scissors and cut my hair. I wanted to use the remaining henna and dye it. I wanted to visit my ophthalmologist and buy colored contact lenses. I wanted to…

But I didn’t.

If I did, I wouldn’t be me. And this self-love, my narcissism, stopped me.

A part of me wanted to get to know her. We could be best buddies, share fandoms, and talk about our common interests.

Another part didn’t want to. Meeting her would be weird and awkward. People are going to compare us. We might end up competing.

I click on a video, wait for it to load, then it plays. I sit still and watch.

She looks like me.

She looks a lot like me.

She moves like me.

She smiles like me.

She talks like me.

But she is not me.

Sometimes in Life

I went on a trail “run” with Kuya Don and Ate Deb. I composed this while we were on the trail. It actually describes the paths we took.

Sometimes in life you have to go through a lot of crap, and pass through unpaved paths. Sometimes you slip and fall. Sometimes you get lost; you take a lot of detours and discover new routes. Sometimes the weather is bad. When it rains you get soaked and feel cold. When it’s hot you get thirsty and feel faint. Sometimes you get tired and want to give up. Sometimes you have to climb hills and mountains, which is the hardest part. But the most challenging part comes with an awesome reward. When you reach the summit, you’re greeted with a breathtaking view.